The Trial of 343 Industries
by SerpentBane007
Summary: Exactly what the title says. A parody of the first two Arbiter cinematics from Halo 2. Not meant to be taken seriously at all, a work of parody simply for the sake of laughs.


Disclaimer: I own nothing at all here. Based on the first two Arbiter cinematics of Halo 2 and inspired by the conversations with my friend SixUnderOneXSix. As said in the summary, this is a work of parody and shitpost. It is meant purely for a laugh and I hope it brings one out of you, oh reader mine.

"When you first saw Halo," began the voice of Reddit, "were you blinded by its majesty?"

"Blinded?" Asked a confused 343.

"Paralyzed? Dumbstruck?" Reddit continued to question.

"No."

"And yet, you allowed greed free reign in your project, allowed it to land its microtransactions into multiplayer. And desecrate the campaign with its filthy footsteps!" Reddit's voice rose in volume and venom.

"Noble Hierarchs, surely you must understand that once the community pre-ordered-" 343 was cut off at the uproar from the internet representatives, his defense drowned out by the yelling of voices and pounding of keyboards.

"There will be order in this council!" The elderly voice of Microsoft yelled, fist slamming onto the arm of his chair. The uproar died as the great Bungie gestured with his hands, throne moving forward towards the accused.

"You were right to focus your attention on graphics, but the story and gameplay..." His voice trailed off in disappointment.  
"By the time we learned of the community's reaction, there was nothing we could do!" 343 explained as the community roared ever louder.  
"Noble Bungie, this has gone on long enough. Make an example of this bungler! The internet demands it!" Reddit whispered to Bungie as the latter once again gestured to the crowd.  
"You are one of our most treasured instruments. Long have you lead your company with honor and distinction." He pointed to 343, only to shake his head is sadness. "But, your inability to safeguard Halo was a colossal failure." The words rang through the room, the ultimate condemnation.  
"Nay!" Said one player as he stood. "It was heresy!" The chamber roared louder than ever, they were out for blood. The Halo veteran laughed as he stood guard next to 343.

"I will continue my development path and implementation of microtransactions!" 343's voice raised.

"No!" Bungie's voice bit through the room. "You will not." At a wave of his hand the Halo Veterans approached, escorting the once proud developer from the chamber.

"Soon Halo will end, and lift us into the annals of gaming legend. But your failure will stay your feet, and you will be left behind." Bungie all but whispered.

OOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Noble Bungie." The lead veteran said as he kneeled, the prisoner held beside him.

"Leave us." Bungie said dismissively.

"But, I though-"

"And take them with you. That will be all."

"...Very well. Release the prisoner." The veteran said as his companions dropped 343 at Bungie's feet, the brand of "Low Player Count" seared into his flesh.

"The Community decided to have you hung by your entrails and your company paraded through the city. But ultimately," Bungie paused, "the terms of your execution are up to me."

"I am already dead." 343 said.

"Indeed." Bungie paused. "Tell me, do you know where we are?" He gestured to the pods and coffins around them.

"The Mausoleum of the Developer."

"Quite so. Here lie the vanguard of the single player campaign. Each raised up and consumed in a moment great storytelling."

"Even on my knees I do not belong in their presence." 343's voice dropped in reverence.

"Halo's failure was your error, and your rightly bear the blame. But the Community was...overzealous." Bungie smiled. "We know you are no heretic. This," Bungie pulled up a still of a Halo Youtuber, "is the face of true heresy. One who would subvert our legacy and incite rebellion against the High Franchise."

343 had seen these faces before, they were the ones most vocally calling for his removal from Halo. "These ads are false! Open your eyes, my brothers!" The voice ranted. "They would use Bungie's legacy to bring ruin to us all. Halo is d-"

"This heretic," Bungie's voice dropped to a deadly whisper as the stopped the message, "and those who follow him, must be silenced."

"But how?" 343 asked. "I cannot command threads, cannot lead stories."

"Not as you are. But become the Developer...and you shall change their minds with our blessing." He gestured to the nearest pod, which opened to reveal the armor of the long fabled Halo Wars 2. Still clutching his wound 343 approached reverently. Touching the helmet he hesitated, then slipped it on.

"What would you have your Developer do?" 343 asked, the new insignia of shining proudly.


End file.
